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alexsmith

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Do children from single parents have a harder time?

I have noticed just from a few friends who are single parents(absent fathers) that their children have a harder time, more discipline problems than children from two parent homes. Does anyone else agree with me on this? It seems that having a father in the picture makes a world of a difference in the lives of these children. Is this a valid reason to stay with that person and works through the problems if possible? It would be for me if it a was a known fact that children are well rounded and happier.

364 day(s) ago

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Answers (15)

anonymous
Just wanted to share with you...My wife and I met on Singleparentkiss.com. We started conversing in September of '06 and finally met in November of '06. We eloped in April of this year. We have 5 children between us and it gets real crazy sometimes, but that's life! I just wanted to let you know how unbelievably happy we are and how great the last two years have been. If it wasn't for the site, I would have never met wife.

Posted 261 days ago

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moni74
Im a single parent and my son is very bright and behaves well. His father died recently but wasn't in his life much. He is very loved by all my family and gets a lot of attention. He can be spoiled at times but he is 9, and like any other kid needs to be disciplined. I have family members that have a father in the house, and their kids aren't necessarily 'better behaved' or brighter than mine. In fact, they are more spoiled and don't do as well as my child It depends on a lot of things. If that child is loved and you pay attention to them, they dont miss the father figure. It is not always the best thing to have the father around, it depends on what type of father they are. Also I take alot of time with my son. Sports, reading, homework and he is a good kid. I would have to disagree, but the situation varies.

Hope this helps.

Posted 364 days ago

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HollywoodMom
Well to address your question properly, I need to bring us to the same page in life. Something most people don't understand, is it's not about single parent vs. two parent home. It's about being emotionally healthy. If a child is growing up in a 2 parent home that is not stable, the child will grow up emotionally unhealthy, and thus tend to have emotionally unhealthy relationships in life. We as parents or as a single parent sometimes have to take the necessary steps to teach our children what is emotionally healthy in a relationship. A 2 parent home that is healthy can teach and keep a child in a happy and healthy environment, as that child grows up they will be well rounded, social, outgoing, and will CHOOSE to stay away from unhealthy emotional relationships, because they know how they like to be treated and they will find/seek someone who is a best friend to them, not someone who will be hurtful to them, or unstable for them. A child can learn this in a one parent home as well, but will also have a more difficult time learning how to go about a relationship, because it was not taught to them first hand in a single parent home. This is not a major issue, because most people tend to learn from their mistakes and are willing to continue to try again and correct their previous mistakes, and as a result a single parent home child can have a healthy relationship.

What is a mistake is for parents who remain together even through an unhealthy relationship. These parents are only teaching their children that it is ok to let a man or woman treat them in a bad manner. It teaches children that this is healthy and normal and is not a problem. When in fact it is an issue. When parents do not respect one another, children will learn this unhealthy behavior and enter into a relationship where either they are the aggressor or their partner is the aggressor against them, they will see this as ok, because that is the type of environment they have grown up into.

Remember, children are constantly learning through observation. It's up to us parents to teach our children right from wrong. If our children do something wrong, and no one is there to tell the child they are doing something wrong, how are they supposed to know that it is wrong? They don't. That's why it is important for some parents to break up, because they are setting an example for their child to learn that it is not ok to be disrespected, treated unfairly, be hurtful to one another, etc., and if someone is doing this to them, than it is unhealthy and they need to back away from the situation, re-evaluate it, and figure out the best decision, and sometimes that decision can be found through counseling, while other times that decision is to part ways.

Posted 364 days ago

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jeanpierre
I don't think its true with every case.I know plenty of single parents/kids from single parents and the majority of them are just fine.There are a few who have issues, but they also have single moms who don't know how to parent/who gets overwhelmed.

Posted 364 days ago

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SinglemomCA
My son is very well behaved. He gets compliments ALL THE TIME on his demeanor and pleasant attitude.
He is always smiling and actually the happiest and most well behaved toddler that i know personally.
He just started a new daycare and that are very impressed with him.

So I disagree with you.
Lazy parents have a harder time, not single ones.

Posted 364 days ago

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jeanpierre
As a therapist I get this type of question all the time. The answer is that is really depends. Research does show that a child with two parents has increase odds of adjusting well in life. However, some children with two parents do not do well, and some children with one parent do great. If your friends ask, I would suggest that they look at their situation and then do all they can. Maybe they can use big brother programs, or relatives to fill a perceived void in the child's life. Just know that just because they do not have a father does not ensure the child will have a rough life; however, having a father does not ensure the child will have a great life. All we can do is the best we can. A lot parents ask me about discipline. I attach a website that I recommend for pre-teen discipline. Good luck.

Posted 364 days ago

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jeanpierre
Absolutely not, that's just ignorance to say that they have anything to do with each other.

So no, you're wrong.

Posted 364 days ago

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kya4mykids
Jeny-
I am an "only" parent of a 15 yr old teenage boy and he is VERY well adjusted and I get compliments about him all the time.

I disagree with the statistics...although that is what they are....studies. Not sure of the demographic they use to determine those statistics.

I have been a single Mom since conception....the father left me when I was 3 months pregnant and he then remarried someone 3 months prior to my son being born. He tried visiting about 4 times when my son was 3...and then absolutely NOTHING since. So, no father in my son's life at all - not even a birthday card - plus doesn't even acknowledge he has him. Sad, yes.

However, I am a stable, consistent parent. I mean what I say and say what I mean - and am honest about the whole situation and with my son. I'm there for him when he needs it. My motto is: "I am raising a man not taking care of a little boy." Therefore, he is taught responsibilities.

There may be some kids that do have a hard time....depends on the parent and living situation.
But I know several kids that come from two-parent homes that are not that well adjusted.

Bottom line answer - like most answers on here: depends

Posted 364 days ago

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adamcrisp
Well, my son is only two, so I can only go off of how he acts right now, and I can tell you this - I don't think I've ever seen a child that's happier than my son. There are plenty of people in this section that are friends of mine on facebook and they can attest that they've probably only seen 1-2 pictures of him where he's not smiling. He receives compliments on his attitude & personality daily.

His father hasn't been in the picture for pretty much his whole life, although he is trying to get to know him now.

Posted 364 days ago

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Jane77
No, I don't agree. I have no problems disciplining my son, and he doesn't have a harder time now that his dad isn't around. Infact, he's much happier and much more stable now that we're no longer together.

I wouldn't in a relationship where I wasn't happy. If I'm not happy then that will have an impact on how good a parent I am.

Posted 364 days ago

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jonathancrisp
Well, I can't speak for the world or statistics. I was raised by a single parent, and while I wasn't a model child, I did well in school, didn't smoke, drink, use drugs, wasn't promiscuous, and never got into trouble with the law. I'm college educated and live on my own, and have always held down a job.

I am now raising a daughter on my own, and she is only eight, but seems to be happy, has many friends, does well in school, has joined Brownies and gives back to the community, and can be generous to a fault. And I have never used spankings as discipline.

I think it's a question of quality, not quantity. I know plenty of messed up kids from two parent homes.

Posted 364 days ago

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adamcrisp
Since some of you have already shared your personal experiences, i just want to add that not everything about single parenting is bad. there are some upsides and focusing on the advantages (not being sarcastic here) might be a healthier outlook on things. Here's an interesting read you might be interested.

Posted 364 days ago

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jeanpierre
definitely not true. i was born through a sperm donor, so ive had one parent my whole life. im intelligent, well behaved, never been in any real trouble. im in college with a 3.8 gpa.
i have lots of friends with two parents, and they are wild children! haha.
ive always wished i knew what having a father was like, but i love my mom. shes a mom and dad to me! i wouldnt change anything.

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kya4mykids
I am a single parent. My children do not see their father. But I disagree with what you have to say based on my children. They are well behaved, happy (full of giggles and smiles daily), are loved by many, and have a good life.

I don't know really any other single moms so I can only go on my families life.

Posted 364 days ago

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SinglemomCA
it depends on the situation if the father was a good parent and good person but things just ended up not working out between mom and dad then probably yes...but if the father was a drunk abusive to the mom then the children would suffer more for seing that on a regular basis.........Majority of people who have children together do try to make things work before calling it quits... but if it doesnt work it is not good for a child to grow up in a house hold where there parents do not respect each other

Posted 364 days ago

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